Mic Droppings - First Issue - February 2026

Here I am, telling you all you need to know about stand-up comedy.

In this first issue, we have: Mr. Mic's Hot Takes

Host Review - What Makes A Host's Host

Comedian Of The Month

Open Mic Review - The Hi-Tone

Mr. Mic Hot Takes

There are three types of stand-up comics: The type that works on their material day-in-day-out and tries new jokes on every open-mic; the lazy ones that are content with a mediocre set that gets some laughs, and repeat it every-fucking-time; and the morons that believe that because they got  5 minutes at an open mic, can show up un-fucking prepared, go onstage and ramble about a thing that happened to them and they think it’s funny. If you don’t know what type of comedian you are, I’ll give you a hint: if “you had to be there” is how you end your never-ending monologue, you need to leave the stage to somebody else and go fuck yourself!

Open Mic Review

THIS MONTH I REVIEW THE OPEN-MIC THAT TAKES PLACE MOST TUESDAYS AT THE HI-TONE. 

THE OPEN MIC DOES NOT HAVE A NAME, OR AT LEAST NOT ONE THE PRODUCERS LIKE TO PROMOTE. ON SOCIAL MEDIA IT JUST GOES AS THE HI-TONE OPEN MIC COMEDY NIGHT.

IT STARTS AT 8PM, SIGN UP AT 7PM, BUT DON’T GET YOUR HOPES HIGH... THE ORDER IN WHICH THE COMEDIANS WILL PERFORM HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE LIST YOU SIGNED UP IN. YOUR PLACE WOULD COME, IT SEEMS, WHEN A COMBINATION OF ASTROLOGICAL EVENTS COINCIDE WITH THE EXHAUSTION OF THE HOST’S FRIENDS THAT NIGHT. IF YOU SIGNED UP TO GO UP SEVENTH, PLEASE WAIT SEATED; THERE ARE PROBABLY MORE THAN 7 FRIENDS OF THE HOST THERE THAT NIGHT...

IF YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND OF THE HOST, GOOD FOR YOU. PLEASE, AFTER YOU PERFORM, THINK ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT, TRACE SOME PARALLELS WITH WHAT YOU JUST DID, AND GO FUCK YOURSELF!

THE ROOMS, THERE ARE TWO, UPSTAIRS AND DOWNSTAIRS, ARE GOOD. DOWNSTAIRS IS BIGGER AND HAS A NICER, BETTER STAGE. IT ALSO HAS BETTER SOUND AND IS BETTER LIT. THE BAR IS RIGHT THERE AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM. DOWNSTAIRS HAS A NICER BACKGROUND THAT INCLUDES SOME NINJA TURTLES AND OTHER COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS. IT’S SMALLER, BUT IT’S COZIER IN WINTER.

THE DRINK SELECTION IS DECENT, AND THE BARTENDER IS WAY TOO COOL FOR THE PLACE. FOOD IS A LITTLE LIMITED, BUT THE LARGE PIZZA IS CHEAP AND GOOD. NOT GREAT, GOOD.

THIS IS A DEPENDABLE OPEN-MIC TO TRY NEW MATERIAL, AS LONG AS YOU HAVE TIME TO WAIT FOR YOUR TURN.

YOU CAN SEE THE SOCRE CARD ON PAGE 7 FOR DETAILS.

THIS OPEN MIC COULD USE SOME DISCIPLINE WITH THE SIGN UP LIST / PERFORMANCE ORDER, BUT IS STILL A SOLID 4-OUT-OF-5 OPEN MIC. 

A fucKing 4/5!

Hots Review - What Makes A Host's Host?

That’s the question that most open mic producers ask me all the time. A good host is difficult to find, and finding a host’s host is like finding a unicorn, only you have more chances of having sex with the unicorn. Not that I had done it... statistically speaking. 

Among the qualities a host’s host must posses, the ability to correctly and quickly read the room is top of the list, followed by mental agility, because what good is being able to read a room and realize you are bombing if you can’t change the probervial (down) direction?

And if you’ve been gifted with those two, you better pray for a quick wit. Imagine you can identify your in a shitty situation but you lack the wits, and make a change FOR THE WORSE!

And if you are a good room-reader, agile decision-maker, witty AF to realize you need to change the room’s temperature, then your sense of humor better be unrivaled!

YOU. GOTTA. MAKE. THEM. LAUGH!

In addition to all those fine skills, you also have to be nice, have a great voice, clear diction, command the stage, be good looking - comedically speaking - have had a shower in the last 24 hours, have at least pants on, and FUCKING RESPECT THE SIGN UP LIST!

Why, you wonder? Because people (comedians are people too, fucker!) made an effort to get there with enough time to CHOOSE (a right your mother should have exercised, since you were born after Roe V. Wade, but sadly she did not...), as I was saying, to choose the fucking time slot they wanted and deserve!

And when you put your friend at the top of the list just because she just got there, and even though she’s not funny you want to give her a chance to be seen and learn the craft, what you are actually doing is telling all the comedians in the list that you are a douchbag who doesn’t give a shit if they have to go home early to their kids, or worked 16 hours before coming to the open mic trying to make a buck that will keep their sick mom’s respirator powered for another month.

What you are telling them is that you think you are better than them (again, fuck your mom and her judeo-christian upbringing that impeded her to side with Wade instead of Roe), that your time is more valuable than theirs, and that your friends deserve more than them, not because they are better comedians, but because they are your friends and you are a DOUCHEBAG!

That, my friend, is why it is so damn difficult to find a good host.

And if after reading this you still think you are one of the Great Ones, 

go fuck yourself!    With love, Mr. Mic.

Comedian Of The Month

LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S PERIOD, EVERY MONTH WE’LL BE BACK TO REVIEW A COMEDIAN WE DEEM WORTHY OF PRAISE OR THINK SHOULD BE SENT TO DO HIS SET IN A ROOM FULL OF COMEDIANS.

THIS MONTH, BEING THE FIRST ISSUE OF THIS OFFICIAL ORGAN FOR THE DISTRIBUTION OF THE STATE OF THE STAND UP COMEDY IN MEMPHIS AND SURROUNDING AREAS, I HAD NO TIME TO CHOOSE ONE. 

I ACTUALLY HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME, BUT SPENT IT WATCHING TV AND EATING PIZZA IN BED, WHILE MY ASSISTANT SUCKED MY DICK IN BETWEEN EPISODES OF WHATEVER SERIES SHE WAS WATCHING. 

FOR THAT REASON, THE LACK OF TIME, THERE IS NO COMEDIAN OF THE MONTH REVIEW THIS TIME. 

BE WARNED, MOFOS, THAT I’LL BE GOING TO OPEN MICS - MY ASSISTANT FINISHED WATCHING HER SERIES AND THERE WON’T BE ANY MORE DICK SUCKING FOR A WHILE. 

I’LL BE WATCHING YOU, CHHOSING ONE OF YOU, AND WRITING MY EVALUATION IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF MIC’S DROPPINGS.

MR. MIC.

P.S. GO FUCK YOURSELF!